 I have officially decided that my dog is the most sane of us all within my family. Hell, just the most sane of us all compared to most of the human population. Why? A little background: so my parents have a weird issue with something my friends and I do. Now, think for a second. What are some of the things they might have a problem with? Sex? Drugs? Out drinking? Coming home super late? Lying about where we were going together? Taking their car without permission (ie STEALING) to go hang out with friends? Ok well we don't do any of that, never have and I doubt we ever will (aww but the sex part makes me sound like a b***amp;nbsp;- poor Bill - but that's a seperate topic). And those aren't the things they have an issue with. The issue lies in this: holy f***how dare we lay down on the couch together at our own effing house to watch a movie. SHAME ON US (please refer to a certain letter to find that phrase absolutely hilarious). Anyway so apparently they had a problem with this over Christmas break. Of course, I wasn't aware of it for a long time. Also of course, I should have known what they were thinking because I'm effing psychic, right? So of course most of the time my parents put up a hissy fit and threw a temper tantrum when I wanted to see Bill because they had an issue with laying on the couch together but I HAD NO EFFING IDEA. This caused quite a lot of unecessary tension. My mother FINALLY enlightens me.At that point Bill and I had been dating for 3 months so WHATEVER - I didn't really understand where my parents were coming from "I would have NEVER layed down on the couch together at my parent's house or my boyfriend's parents house" (and I quote) but I was willing to make her happy and sit up on the couch to watch movies when at my house (his parents didn't have a problem with it - one of the few times they have been sensible). I agreed to that AFTER politely informing her that "if anything were going to go down, it wouldn't matter what position we were in." So I thought we had settled it. We obeyed the ridiculous law until summer break. Now, NINE MONTHS into the relationship we effing lay on the effing couch to effing HAVE SEX. JUST EFFING KIDDING. We do that to watch the effing movie. You can only sit up to watch a movie for so long. And that goes for laying down as well!!!! We shift around a lot to stay comfortable. Soooo guess who still has an issue?!?!?! Again FINALLY mother mentions something to me today about it and that just killed me, really. Also again, they take fucking forever to bring up problems. They let me do something, then see they have an issue with it AND DON'T SAY AN EFFING WORD (and what? assume I know w***is going on in their minds? you know what they say about assume) and they let that build up and up and they let that anger or issue or resentment or whatever dictate their decisions. If they would just BE MATURE (or grow some balls or how ever you want to say it) and - now here's the idea of the century - TALK TO THEIR DAUGHTER, then maybe I can rid them of their insecurities and FIX THE PROBLEM. Shit now isn't that a difficult concept? YES, MOM AND DAD apparently it is. Alright so, now I can explain the part Kanga plays in this. After this last lovely conversation with Mom (which Kyle was in the room for and made some awful but amazing comments in my defense), everyone disappeared elsewhere in the house and left me standing in the kitchen confused and pissed with my dog. I bent down to her level and said "Dang, if I don't kill them all, I'll just kill myself first." I was going to go shut myself in my room (where I am now) and then it struck me; the intelligence and stability of Dang's mind, no matter how much we like to think that it is soooo fucked up, far surpasses that of our own, regardless. I bent back down and held her head in my hands and told her: "I hope you realize you are the most sane of us all. Even though you bark at everyone and are scared shitless for no reason and you are crazy, you are still more sane than us. Why? Because you don't care what the f***Rob and I do as long as you don't have to see him, hear him, or smell him. You don't jump to conclusions or assume the worst." Which is hardly what I can say for the parental folks. Fuck I thought this rant would make me feel better but I'm still just as pissed. One more quip just because I can...the difference between christmas break and now is that christmas break I cared what my parents thought so I respected their wish. Now however, their request is ridiculous, unneccesary and uncalled for so I am done caring what they think on this matter. Hi, ummm I am dating Bill- we are not dating each other's parents - so our parents need to bug out of our situation and act how 40-56 year olds should act OR hand over their parenting rights and legalities to my Dang. Ok I feel a little better now that this is color coordinated.
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